A Very Wayne Thanksgiving
by TheSolaceDance
Summary: No day is normal for the Waynes. THIS IS A ONESHOT, AND THERE WILL BE NO MORE TO THIS STORY.


Stephanie Brown grabbed a camcorder and pressed the on button. As she waited for it to load she listened to the calming music in the background. Or she would, if she could hear it. Everyone was at the long table somewhere deep in the Wayne Manor being tempted by a large turkey and other various mouth-watering foods that had been placed on the table some minutes before by Alfred. No one was allowed to eat anything of course because Dick wouldn't let them. "We have to wait for Bruce," he kept saying. And so they waited. And waited. And waited.

Damian tried to sneak a leg off the turkey but his adopted brother slammed his hand down on Damian's wrist, dislocating it. Honestly sometimes Dick can be... a dick. "Aww, c'mon! Lemme eat it! You can't tell me what to do anyways!" Damian yelled. He reached over with his other hand and tried again to take the turkey leg. Dick dislocated his other wrist. Damian screamed again until Dick was forced to set his wrists back.

The Camcorder came on and Stephanie pressed the record button. She swept the camera over the food and then at the people sitting around it arguing with Dick about when they should be allowed the eat. She zoomed in on Damian who was sitting across from her. "Hey Damian!" she yelled to get his attention in all the yelling. "What?" he said angrily. "Is this your first Thanksgiving?" she said. "Maybe it is, and maybe it isn't. What's it to you?"

"Just documenting." Stephanie pointed the camcorder at Dick. "Dick is being annoying." she said to the camcorder. "He wont let us eat just because the big man ain't here." Dick looked towards her. "We're not eating until Bruce gets here," he said pointing his finger. "Tiiiiiiiiiiim," Stephanie called. "He's pointing fingers!" Timothy looked over at Dick and made a 'dude, really' gesture.

The door opened and Bruce walked in the room. Stephanie zoomed in on him as he fixed his tie. "Sorry I'm late, everyone." he said. "I was out late at a... fundraiser." Everyone either chuckled or smiled knowingly and only Damian didn't get it. "What?" he kept saying. "Why's everyone laughing?" No one told him of his father's promiscuous ways.

Bruce stood at the head of the table next to his chair. "Friends, Family. I am honored to have you join me this evening. I am so thankful to have you all be a part of my life." He picked up a bottle of wine, shook it, and pulled the cork out. Wine splashed everywhere as it rushed out of its bottle. He tried to make the wine fall into the wine glasses that had been placed by him but only some of the glasses got filled. He evened out each glass.

After the wine had been passed around (and Damian had found that he hated it), Bruce grabbed the large carving knife and handed it to Dick. "You should have the honors this year," he said as Dick took it. "I-"

Damian stood up on his chair and pulled out a long rapier. "Why does he get to do it?!" he roared. "He's only adopted!" He brought his rapier down on the large bird. "No! Damian stop!" Timothy shouted. But it was too late. The turkey was sliced cleanly in two down the side. Bone marrow, stuffing, and small bits of turkey went flying onto the nearest individuals. Everyone glared as they pulled pieces of food off of their faces. Stephanie pulled a piece of celery off of the lens.

"Damian," Bruce said, trying to keep his cool for the holiday. "go to your room." Damian complied, mumbling to himself. He knew better than to make his father angry. Stephanie pointed the camcorder elsewhere.

Damian left the room with a feeling of resentment towards the others. Why did they have to get so made at him for? It was just a stupid bird. It should've been him who cut it, anyways. Bruce was his dad, not Dick's. Damian continued to walk after he reached his room. They don't want him around? Fine. Let's just see how they would feel after he left. They'd probably celebrate. Hell, they _would_ celebrate. He made a left into the main hall.

The air outside was cold. Freezing, actually. At least the League had taught him about ideal breathing. Conserving warmth for as long as possible. Maybe he should have gotten a jacket before he left. Too late now. Damian was on his own, and he had no destination in mind. Maybe if he caught a few criminals they would respect him more. Last time that didn't go so well. But then again, last time he had _killed_ the criminal. This time he wouldn't. But who to go after. Scarecrow? No, that guy was too hard to find. Mr. Freeze? No, too small-time. Damian thought about it until he knew just who to go after. He clutched the hundreds of weapons that he somehow kept concealed. No armor, little problem. He just had to be careful.

The Joker was terribly bored. He had just gone through the last scarface and now he was starting to go through goons. They were like family, really. Except he killed these guys faster. Harley was trying to get him to have a real Thanksgiving dinner. Yaaaaaawn. She was a good kid, but dreadfully annoying. For reasons that even he couldn't even begin to understand he just couldn't kill her. Its not that he couldn't bring himself to do it, it was just that he never felt like it. She was easy to beat around. She kept coming back for more, the silly fool.

There was a clatter above him. Somewhere in the air ducts. "Goons!" he yelled. "Something bat-shaped is up there!" Who else could it be? Who is it ever? No other vigilantes infect this god-forsaken town. "Sure thing, Joker!" they say as they grab guns and scamper off. The run through a door. Wrong way! Aw, hell. Let them figure it out. He grabbed his "toy" gun and pointed up wards. Explosive goo shot out when he pulled the trigger. One... Two... Three... BANG! The mini bat popped out.

Damian picked himself off the ground. He was wearing a shirt and jeans with no mask. Not that it mattered much. Why not let your enemy see your face as they lay dying in their own blood? He looked up on the dais that had been constructed from scrap metal and an old chair. The Joker stood up and jumped down on top of Damian. "Well Hellooo there! How nice of you to join us on this wonderful day! Honestly this reminds me of when cute little Jason Todd was running around in tights. But then I killed him! Such fun!" he laughed. "Guess I get to do the same to you too, eh? Thanks Bats!" He grabbed Damian out from underneath him and dragged him into the boiler room.

Bruce paced in front of his son's room. "I'm sure he's around here somewhere, sir." Alfred said. "Young men often do run off when they're mad." Bruce stopped and looked at his butler. "If I didn't know you any better, Alfred, I'd think that you were talking about me just there." And indeed he was. Bruce knew it."I'll search around the city," Dick said holding up a helmet. He quickly turned around and headed out towards the garage. Timothy pulled out his car keys and followed behind Dick. By this time Stephanie had stopped filming and followed.

Bruce had an idea of what had happened to Damian. He hoped to God that he was wrong though. He ran into the Batcave, put on his Batsuit as fast as he could and jumped into the Batmobile towards the steel mill in Gotham City.

The Joker had his boys strap Damian in the middle of the boiler room. The furnace was heating up some water from the nearby waters and poor little Damian was going to get a bath! He stuggled and yelled certain choice words but woe to the mini-bat not a single thing could be done! Killing off the Bat's friends sure was the best. And better yet – this one was his son! And if he were really lucky then Bats and Robin would come crashing in to save the day and then he could take them out, too! There would be nothing to stop him then! Oh, this was so exciting!

"What're you planning to do?" Mini-bat asked. The Joker scratched his head in thought and smiled a cruel smile. "Oh nothing much. Just going to give you a deep cleansing bath. You'll really only have a few seconds." The water had hit boiling and was put on a moving track so that it cascaded down in a huge waterfall. "Every second brings it closer to you!" he laughed. Mini-bat squirmed as he looked over at the water. "I'm just sad that dear ol' daddy isn't here to see this!" Joker said. "How do you think he'd react, huh? He probably wouldn't do anything! He doesn't seem the type to care so much about someone as insignificant as you." Not that the Joker cared much.

The Batmobile crashed through the side of the building. Robin and Nightwing had gone in different parts of the city but Bruce had a feeling that Joker was up to no good. As per usual. Goons flooded the area and Bruce beat them all to a pulp. Breaking each bone as quickly as possible so that even if they weren't knocked out, they at least could not interfere. He burst through a door at random, and saw through giants windows the boiler room. And there in the middle he saw Damian strung up, screaming. A few feet away from his son he could see a waterfall of boiling water.

Wasting no time he crashed through the window sending shards everywhere that just so happened to stick into the two goons' legs so that they could not move. Joker turned around and bowed. "Oh, Batman! How nice to see you! Harley is making a turkey right about now I believe. Why don't you join us?"

"Cut the crap, Joker." Bruce said as menacing as possible. He was considering breaking his oath to never take a life. Joker's smile got even wider as he watched Bruce rush him. Joker dodged left and faked a right as Batman tried to make up for the lost opportunity. He threw a batarang that wizzed just past Joker's ear. Joker stuck his tongue out. "Missed me missed me now you gotta kiss me!" he laughed and danced in a circle. The batarang bounced off machinery and objects and hit Joker square in the back of the neck as he danced.

Joker fell down paralyzed, unable to speak or move even his neck. He glared hatefully at Batman. Bruce walked over to Damian who hung there in complete shock at what he had just seen. His own father who had always acted so distantly towards him had come to his rescue. Bruce cut him down and pulled him in close. "Don't ever do that again, Damian." He didn't use his Batman voice. He used his real voice. A kinder, more loving voice.

"Dad," Damian said. "I was just trying to make you proud of me." His voice was shaky from all things that had happened that day. His father stood up and grabbed him by the shoulder. "You don't have to try. I am already am proud of you."


End file.
